My Last Orientation for the Year

I have now attended my last school orientation for the year. Although I was impressed by the numbers of parents in attendance at the middle school orientation, there were easily twice as many parents at the elementary open house. Some hallways I dared not enter for fear of being squeezed into a corner.

All in all, my son was very happy with his new school and new classroom. He was excited to get to know the new students, hoping for the first time in his life that there would be other children around him every day with similar interests and similar eccentricities. He enjoyed talking with the teacher about his recent travels to Europe and about the microscope he had acquired from one of my favorite middle school teachers, Mr. Penello (who happens to live a few doors down from my parents).

As parents entered classrooms, we were handed packets of paper with information and forms to complete. I don’t think I have ever been as conscious of the importance of adult literacy as I am now. As the director of CISL, one of my charges is to help parents navigate the school system. How does a parent respond to a packet if s/he is not a reader? I was a reading teacher, and I am overwhelmed by the 20-page stack I received for each of my students. Do parents who don’t speak English feel comfortable coming to an orientation knowing they may not understand anything that is being said? Orientation must be an overwhelming experience for both groups. Do these families just not attend? What about parents who do not have an office desk or dining room table on which to fill out paperwork? Do these packets not get turned in? Some of you may think these silly questions, but let me remind you that thousands of students served here in Washington are in a state of transition or living without water and electricity or furniture. Some students are living with their families in a shelter…or in a vehicle. There is so much we take for granted about the children we see around us.

Getting back to my son’s classroom… After perusing the books on the shelves and looking at the posters displayed around the room, I asked the teacher if there was anything I could do to support her in the classroom. She asked if I would be interested in supervising a science team for a contest or organizing the Scholastic orders for the month. To be honest, although Mr. Penello was one of my favorite science teachers ever (Mr. Britt, you’re a close second), I would not say science is my strong suit at this point in my life. I was an English and French teacher for the last fifteen years. When it comes to organizing anything that requires the sending out of money… Well, there’s a reason my husband takes care of our bills. I am the QUEEN of procrastination.

Is there nothing else I can do? I was a teacher for 15 years! I taught my son’s current grade-level for most of that time. Is there nothing else I can offer? I speak languages. I have traveled the world. I have written music and directed plays. I was a little offended. Was I so useless? ... And then last night I ran into a PTA regional director who brought me back to reality and reminded me that not all teachers have had wonderful experiences with parents. To my son’s teacher, I am as yet an unknown quantity. Just the fact that I was a teacher does not mean I would necessarily interact well with her students.

I am glad that PTA director put me back in my place. She helped me to realize that I need to be more patient with my son’s teacher. However, this experience also brought to my recollection a thought I have had in my head since the day I arrived in my new office and saw Karen Mapp’s book Beyond the Bake Sale on my desk. I have not yet had time to read the whole book, but from what I read that day, it became apparent to me that school systems – administrators, teachers, even PTAs – have not done a very good job of involving parents in the education of their children during the school day. The most interested and available parents are often asked to organize fund raisers or make copies or maybe, if they’re lucky, to supervise in the lunchroom, attend field trips or chaperone a school dance. Aren’t there other ways we could be helpful as parents?

The wheels in my head have been turning… Maybe not all parents have interesting jobs. Some may work at home as mothers (yes, being a stay-at-home mom or dad is a job). Some parents may not work at all, but I believe each parent has something to offer – a skill, a talent, an experience. Is there a way to invite parents to engage in the classroom in a way that benefits everyone? Is there a coffee shop owner who can talk about the process of buying a franchise or the process of making different kinds of non-caffeinated drinks? Is there a bus driver who can talk about his/her experience driving a bus and how s/he chose this career? Is there a lawyer who can talk about the difference between reality T.V. and real life? Are there people who have skills or hobbies that could be turned into free after-school classes?

I say these things not to point a finger at my son’s teacher, because if any finger-pointing were to be done, one of the fingers would be pointing back at me as a teacher. I say these things because it is time for all of us – parents, educators, community organizations – to think about the ways we can build bridges that connect us and not walls that divide us. We all have something to offer one another. We each hold a key to the success of the children in America’s classrooms.

Middle School Orientation

Well, my middle school children have just experienced orientation at their new school. The event was organized so that all new students (both 7th and 8th graders) could do activities together in groups of 10 – 12, facilitated by 8th grade students. The groups played name games and listened to speakers. They took tours of the building and saw their new schedules.

Parents could come later and meet with teachers and counselors. We were invited to sign up for the PTA and for the Parks and Recreation middle school events. Athletic packets were passed out and parents were encouraged to pay for their child’s hot lunch.

As a former middle school teacher, I was pretty impressed with the enthusiasm of the student leaders and faculty present at the event. My only concern, after talking with someone else who had taken off work to attend the event, was that as well-run as the afternoon was, the timing was not well-suited for those families in which both parents worked day jobs. Although there were many parents present, I now wonder how many other parents could have attended had the event been held in the evening.

These are things as schools that we need to think about… 20 or 30 years ago, most moms were at home during the day and could pick up and leave to run errands or assist in a classroom or attend an orientation in the middle of the day. The times are different now. Most women work a full-time job and take care of their children. Many women and even some men are single parents. How can we think about doing things differently to accommodate the different needs of our society so that all parents and guardians can participate in the education of our nation’s children?

Yesterday I paid my PTA dues and signed up to participate in this “mechanism” for the first time in my children’s educational journey. Why had I not signed up before? We were busy at nights. After teaching a full day, I did not have the energy to be out for hours at night as well, in addition to athletic events and church. Furthermore, the PTA groups always seemed to be comprised predominantly by the stay-at-home mothers with whom I had little in common. I do not know how my experience will be here, but I have joined. I am committed to challenging traditional thinking and trying to help create a parent-community-school partnership that is inclusive, not exclusive.

Stay tuned for the next installment – the elementary open house…